Porcelain Prince

One must approach it as if stalking a tiger. It must not know the direction or rate of your pursuit. You must conceal your smell, your sound, your every breath. It's a marvel, really, how it stands, white and sturdy and shining as if under fluorescence. If it catches you, it does not surprise, it merely weakens its lever so that the accompanied flush is little more than a water-bottle's worth of a squirt and the flusher is stuck pumping, as if an old maid, dressed in off-white dirtied through sadness and time, covered by overalls fashioned by old man Levi Strauss, pumping water from a well. When enough water has filled the bowl, forces of gravity overcome recalcitrance.

And this is our toilet.


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Does Taco Bell ship overseas?